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E-books such as The Magic of Making Up give us the tools we need to solve our marital problems. They show us strategies to achieve more stable and happier relationships, but that is only the beginning. Tools are only effective if we make them so. Yet all too often, it is our own conditioning that keeps us from succeeding at our task.

Modernity has accustomed us to think that rapid change is a natural fact, and the liberalization of our social environment has given us a taste for the easy way out. These are unfortunate consequences of progress, and if they are not corrected, they can hold us back or even harm us.

We must relearn two basic things. First, we must train the magic of making up ourselves to face our problems, instead of running away from them as soon as they get a little hard to handle. Second, we must accept the idea that most good fixes are the result of long-term processes. They cannot be achieved in a day